The Coaching Corner
Paradigm Shifts Coaching
Pause or Risk It, Your Choice!
Many people encounter confusion when it comes to pausing and risking.
Pause adverse people tend to be like the energizer bunny; we just hop from one task to another. If we stop to look at this style of creating, we discover that we are acting from a belief that if I do more, I will receive more. In the short run this idea may pan out, but in the long run it leads to wearing down our bodies and our minds. Living life on the run, we become indifferent to our own needs for rest and reflection. Eventually we become blind to the encroaching limitations of our sabotaging busyness.
When we are Risk adverse, we spend our time so engrossed in the movie of our lives that we neglect to hear our own starting gun. We stand at the line waiting for our moment to arrive and curse the world when it doesn't show up. When opportunities do present themselves, perpetual pausers lack the experience of executing a risk and settle back into familiar patterns and circumstances. Comfortably numb, we find the same old excuses waiting for us in the easy chair: I don't have the money, I don't have the time, I'll probably fail anyway.
Learning when to pause and when to risk is essential for success in any endeavour. One of the best ways to discern between the two is to approach change in three stages:
1. Recognize that something new has entered your life.
2. Give your self time, days or even weeks, to explore the new opportunity.
3. Notice and honor your natural tendency to commit to just some of the opportunity for now.
Whenever we are presented with a new insight or opportunity, we can engage with it gently by recognizing that something new has entered my life. Many times we are overwhelmed with all the options and responsibilities that come with a new experience- even winning the lottery adds unforeseen stress! After we give ourselves permission to just sit with the newness for a while, we enter the second stage: exploring the new. In this stage we are naturally drawn to explore parts of our new opportunity that push our envelope just enough but not too much to overwhelm us so we quit.
Recently an older friend of mine contacted me because he was losing his eyesight and he felt ostracized from his family. He wanted to recover his sight but more importantly he wanted to reconnect with his family- he felt like they had lost sight of him. Recognizing that this viewpoint caused him to feel like a victim we worked to change his perception about his family. Meanwhile, some interesting experiences happened around his eyesight. The first was his new doctor arranged for him to have eye surgery to correct one of his problems; up until this time he was told he was not a candidate for the surgery. Following this, his surgery was planned within the month- something that happens very rarely in this field. As he explored these synchrodestinies (synchronistic events that spiral out of our intentions), he opened up more to his feelings, reflected deeply on hidden beliefs that were blocking him and took the risk to clear them. He is now fully commited to his inner work and to reconnecting with his family in small yet powerful ways.
My friend crafted a new relationship to risk through being honest with himself and enacting that honesty. Instead of seeking love, appreciation and approval from others we can commit to giving that to ourselves. But remember- honesty is not about brutally tearing ourselves apart. It is about appreciating where we are now and what still lies ahead. Let compassion be the guide. As the bumper sticker says: Have patience, God isn't finished with me yet.
Taking the risk to step out of the chattering monkey mind gives us the courage to listen to our intuition, explore our chosen direction and commit to THAT! BUT Just for today! Tomorrow? Don't worry about it, God is already there!
Coaching is an excellent way to untangle ourselves from our adversity to pausing and risking. Check out my specials below to get the most out of Your Choices Today!
Special thanks to the work of Danielle Gibbons: http://www.belovedpublications.com/ for contributing to this article.
SYMBOLIC TRACKING INTENSIVE: Tracking Your Way Into The Light!
Saturday, February 27, 2010 9am-5pm, Nature's Song Retreat Center, Danby, New York. http://www.naturessongretreat.com/
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Become the Master you are waiting for- Track your way into the Light of Who You Really Are!
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Checks can be made payable to:
Patrick Walsh,
418 East Seneca St.
Ithaca, NY 14850
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